Current Phase Pt. II

We're back.

Friday we do a CT guided biopsy of the nodes in the lungs. The following Friday we will know what the real plan is. Today we discussed contingencies. The doc is an incredible person, honest and deliberate, and stressed to have to deliver the kind of news he had.

In short, he believes this is indeed metastatic cervical cancer. There are far too many nodes to treat surgically or even with radiation. 1 to 5, maybe it could be done. They haven't even attempted to count them all. I remember seeing at least 12 when I looked over the last CT scan, and those were the ones that my untrained eyes could grab while the slides scrolled in front of me. The rate of growth of the nodes is also telling. 5.5mm to 11.79 during treatment, for one of the nodes.

The nodes were visible in a scan from April of this year, but no one caught it. I raised the issue today with the doc. I told him it would not have made any difference in the outcome, the cancer had metastasized before we caught it. It would have made a difference in treatment though. We might have bought some more time. The doc agreed. I told him that on behalf of future husbands and wives, that she be addressed. He agreed with that also.

The long shot for biopsy result is that the nodes could, on a far outside chance, be a fungal infection. A side effect of a immune system compromised by radiation and chemotherapy. The doc said, "Don't ask me what the percentage of cases are, just know it does happen." We're good with that.

Barring the fungal infection, we face the question of how we attempt to slow the cancer while maintaining some quality of life. He and we want to see how fast this grows, see if we can "kick the can down the road a bit", before we make her sick with chemo. Give her some more time to take a run over to the coast. The bottom line, he said, is that he has no magic for this advanced cancer.

We went to the Chinese restaurant afterward, it's become a tradition. It's across the street from the hospital. We talk and laugh and cry there, the staff must think we're some serious drama queens. I told her about the fear I've been struggling with, about seeing her skin turn gray some days, and how this blog and telling our story seems to actually be helping me cope with that. Helps me get back to the now. She doesn't want me to do any sex scenes. WTF? That's the best part, for cryin' in the sink.